June 4th, 2007
Big Life Transition
I am in the process of observing several of my closest friends experience some big life transition. We aren’t talking, that when life gives you lemon’s kind of everyday stuff, we are talking HUGE changes, in the form of real gut wrenching, life stuff. Sometimes things don’t turn out the way we’d planned. Sometimes no matter how hard you try, things come undone, they shift and settle, and they unravel at the seams. Sometimes in the process so do we. These kinds of changes can be precipitated by events like the unforeseen divorce, the death of a parent or even a child, or a personal life threatening illness. I feel honored and horrified all at the same time, to be the observer of all of these kinds of traumas and losses. In the face of this kind of upheaval what’s a woman to do? This month we are going to discuss some strategies for a serious emergency plan.
I was chatting online with a friend yesterday who is right in the middle of what I would call a psychic reorganization. Everything in her life is changing – not so much around her, but inside her. I’m guessing when she looks inside, she doesn’t have a foggy clue who she is today, let alone who she will be tomorrow. In the last several months she went through a huge career transition, lost her father, she sustained a serious injury that resulted in surgery and months of crutches and in rehab, and is going through a rather serious, “rough patch” in her marriage. The limp on the outside is pretty symbolic of the bleeding on the inside. She is really just beginning to understand how internally devastating all this has been for her. So as she is finally unraveling it I pressed her for a plan as to what she intends to do to repair the wreckage of her broken heart.
Finally, after several minutes of consideration she came back with the most brilliant plan. I think I will go to Ocean Shores for a couple of days by myself. I think I just need a retreat. Hear! Hear! Perfecto!!! I think she needs a retreat also. I think it’s a whole new take of the old adage, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. I believe that sometimes when the going gets tough the best thing to do is go away for some solitude, go into a serious marathon prayer, go into a deep meditation, go have the cry of a lifetime, or simply just get the hell out of dodge. In most cases the space of a couple of days of solitude between the problems of today and the problems of next week can be tremendous – Notice, I said SOLITUDE. That means time alone in quiet – and yes, that means ALONE.
Now for some people, especially woman, the prospect of being alone, is horrifying. However, when the big stuff hits, the best way to sort it all out so you can get on with dealing with it is to take time alone. You don’t have to spend your entire time of solitude contemplating your stuff. Sometimes just the quiet can start taking the tarnish off of our rusty spirit and peace emerges. When you are having a soul saving retreat, just let it flow and as long as you are having QUIET TIME, ALONE I promise your healing, be it physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, or all of the above, will commence.
Lisa
