June 11th, 2007
Big Life Moments - Pt 2
Ariel sat cross legged on the ground in front of the Safeway store. She was leaning up against the building, having chest pains and shortness of breath. She needed to get groceries, but the whole world was spinning and she knew if she walked in there, best case she would throw up, worst case die. Ariel was having an anxiety attack. Unable to catch her breath, she pulled her cell phone out of her purse and started to dial her husband’s cell number and then stopped cold. He wasn’t at home. He wasn’t going to be at home. Andrew had finished packing his things over the weekend and he had fully moved out. She had wanted this separation and felt relieved to have some space. But now – she was sitting in front of Safeway dieing with no one to call.
This was one of those big life moments. Honestly, for Ariel, the whole year had been like this. The deterioration of her marriage, had been slow, but consistent. The march toward divorce seemed inevitable. Right now she had no idea what to do with the rest of her life, let alone how to get through the next ten minutes. So, with no one to call, Arial sat on the ground, crossed legged in front of Safeway and began to pray. It had been a long time since she had prayed and her original silent thoughts to God were felt formal and rigid. However, before she knew it, she was up off the ground, sitting in her car in the back of the parking lot, pouring her soul out to God.
Whatever God means to you – whatever prayer means for that matter, when you are in absolute crisis with no way out, sometimes the only emergency plan is to pray. I am not an advocate of the kind of relationship with the Divine where you are only in communication in crisis. I believe any relationship requires consistent communication to blossom and grow. However, in dire circumstances, people who haven’t prayed for years, even people who don’t really believe in a higher power, everyone almost instinctively prays. It’s almost like our insides have a built in safety mechanism that drives us to reach for the divine. Many a story has been published about the miraculous results of prayer in a pinch. However, for Ariel, she didn’t even know what miracle to pray for. All she knew was that without some help, she would fall apart completely. Sometimes in an emergency the only thing you can ask for is grace.
Ariel sat in the car and talked with God like an old friend for almost an hour. After she had emptied her soul, after honest assessment of her mental and emotion state, she still didn’t think she could go into the damn Safeway. So, she put the car in drive and went home. When she walked up to the door she found a note from her neighbor.
“Porter’s class is selling pizza’s for a fundraiser. He didn’t sell enough, so I had to buy twelve! Come on over when you get off work and I will give you three or four to take home. I know you’ve been busy lately. You and the kids can enjoy them for dinner.”
Ariel laughed. Sometimes grace comes in the form of pizza.
Lisa
