June 18th, 2007
Big Life Moments- Pt 3
The room was spinning. Megan could hardly breath. She could see the Doctor in front her, but she couldn’t hear him talking anymore. The last thing she heard the Doctor say was cancer. Megan was 29 years old, with a seven year old and three year old girls. She and her husband had divorced less then six months ago and he was now living across the country with his new fiancé. This had left Megan to manage the house, the kids, and everything else on her own. She’d been through so much and now this. Megan was sitting on the examination table, completely shut down. Now what? Now that she had been diagnosed with cancer, Megan just wanted to quit. She thought for a moment about how she just wanted to die now.
The Doctor told her she would need to start chemo almost right away, but that they had caught her breast cancer early and the prognosis was pretty good.
She explained what she remembered to her best friend from her cell phone in the parking lot of the clinic. Megan’s best friend, Casi, who didn’t have the benefit of shock, tried desperately to hold back the tears and put on a supportive front. However, she could hear it in Megan’s voice, she’d about had it. As soon as she got off the phone Casi sprang into action. When Megan got home, she put finding Nemo on the DVD player for the 500th time. She set the girls in front of the TV and went into her room and crawled in bed.
Three hours later, cars began pulling up in the driveway. Before long her house was full of women. Casi had called everyone they knew and everyone responded to the call for help. Megan, Casi, and seventeen other women sat in Megan’s living room that evening and cried and laughed and worked out a support plan, so Megan would have the help she needed to get through the treatment. Everyone took a job. Some people volunteered child care. Some volunteered meals. Some volunteered to go to Megan’s appointments with her. Some volunteered to be on call anytime of the day for whatever unscheduled issue came up, even if it was just Megan needing to talk. By the time they left, both Megan and Casi felt better.
For the first time in months, Megan didn’t feel overwhelmed or alone. The worst day of her life had morphed into one of the best days of her life because she really knew, deep down inside how loved and supported she was. Megan wished she’d asked for help earlier.
When the preverbal s*!!*t hits the fan, usually the first thing we feel is alone, followed by overwhelm. I don’t know why we don’t reach out. I honestly don’t know why women are programmed to tough it out on their own and suffer in silence. What I do know is that attitude is a soul killer. Megan had come to a point where she simply couldn’t do it on her own anymore, but if Casi hadn’t made the call I doubt that Megan would have ever done it for herself. This month, we are taking about what the plan is when a real emergency strikes. One of the biggest components of a spiritual emergency plan is, surround yourself with loving support. Love is transforming. Sometimes it’s the only thing that can calm a turbulent sea.
Megan is now in her sixth week of chemo. I spent a good part of Saturday teaching a girl friend yoga class at her house. After the class she hosted a lovely potluck lunch. There were 26 women there. Her support network is still growing.
Megan actually looks more rested now then she did three months ago. She is getting a lot of help with the girls and is learning to take care of herself.
When in doubt call for help. It’s always there.
Lisa
