Someone at work has wronged you or maybe someone very close to you has betrayed you - now you are angry and hurt.  You are faced with the decision of whether you will forgive this person or not?  This month I will share information that will help make this decision. 

Forgiveness means to stop feeling angry or resentful towards someone or some event.  Forgiveness does not equate to condoning bad behavior.  You can forgive someone and still desire and/or provide consequences for harmful behavior (i.e.: a person can remove themselves from an abusive relationship, file a police report and choose to forgive their partner).  Forgiveness is about honoring your feelings in order to let them go, reclaiming your personal power, and learning to look for the opportunities in every situation.   

All the major religions proclaim the spiritual importance of forgiveness and psychologists are now showing the psychological and physiological benefits of forgiveness.   However, understanding the benefits and power of forgiveness is easier than following through and actually practicing forgiveness.  Practicing forgiveness takes time, effort and practice – it does not happen overnight.

As a psychologist I understand the power of forgiveness.  As a victim of a crime, I understand how difficult it can be to forgive.  At age 16, I was forced into the back seat of a car and raped by a young man.  This traumatic assault left me feeling angry, resentful, afraid, and bitter for several years.  I finally recognized that holding on to these feelings and staying in a state of unforgiveness was only hurting me and was having no impact on this man.  Holding on to my anger and hostility was interfering with my ability to be happy and have healthy relationships.  I decided to forgive this man so that I could set myself free, reclaim my personal power, and move on with my life.  I can now appreciate the valuable lessons that this traumatic experience gave me.  I am grateful for the strength and resiliency that I uncovered during my healing process.  By forgiving the man who raped me, I was able to see that I always have the choice to forgive.    

This week make a list of the people and situations you are still holding a grudge against.  Be honest with yourself and include everything and everyone you can think of.  

Next week I will discuss how holding on to grudges can harm you.

Create a great week!

Kirsten

This entry was posted by Kirsten Harrell on August 6th, 2007 under Spirit and Inspiration with keywords .

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