August 20th, 2007
The Power Of Forgiving - Pt 3
So far this month you have learned about the basics of forgiving and why it is so important. Take a deep breath and congratulate yourself for coming this far. Now, it is time to begin the process of forgiving.
The first step in forgiving others is to allow yourself to feel your feelings fully. Whatever has happened, it is important to honor your feelings. When you allow yourself the freedom to feel, your emotions will build to a peak and then dissipate again.
Unfortunately, many people are afraid of the intensity of emotions and tend to block the flow. Blocking emotions in this way keeps the emotional energy trapped. Over time this creates stress because you have to work to keep all of this pent up emotional energy under control – like trying to keep a lid on a pressure cooker. Contrary to what many people believe, letting your emotions flow is the best way to let go of them and to move forward. If you believe that your emotions may be too much for you to handle on your own, you may want to seek professional guidance as you learn to feel your emotions.
Allowing your emotions to flow naturally helps you begin to accept full responsibility for your emotions. Forgiveness requires that you own your emotions and recognize that only you can change the way you feel about something. If you believe that you will only feel better and be able to let go of your grudge once someone has apologized or been punished for their wrong-doing, you place the responsibility for your emotions outside of yourself. Since you cannot control whether the person will apologize or whether justice is served, you risk feeling out of control and miserable. Once you realize that you are responsible for changing how you feel and that you can choose to forgive (regardless of what happens with the other person), you reclaim your authentic personal power.
This week practice feeling your emotions in a safe place (remember to seek help from a friend or professional if needed). Remember that you, and only you, are responsible for your feelings.
Create a great week!
Kirsten
